Maybe one day you’ll realize how much she loved you. How she gave up her world just to fit into yours. How she cared for you. How she did everything for you. She literally gave her whole self because she loves you so much but what did you do? You left her hanging. One day you’ll realize all of these, and I hope hope it’s never too late.

Maybe… just maybe.

"Do not waste your years to someone who can’t appreciate you and your existence."
"How to be okay; pretend that you are."
"I deserve better than this kind of shit."

To the guy who meant the world to me:

Hey how you’ve been doing? I know this is awkward because we haven’t really talked after what happened. You may ask why am I doing this, or what’s the reason behind this post. Others may think that I’m chasing you, but I’m not.

What happened?

We were okay, we were happy and I thought nothing was really going on. But nope. Something was not right, and you knew but you didn’t tell me. What made you decide to leave me that easy? What went wrong? What happened?

What if?

What if we fixed the relationship? What if we didn’t let go? What if you talked to me about us? What if I gave you another chance? Honestly, I’m still hurt because I didn’t really expect that you’re going to let go of me so easily. I can’t be mad at you. I can’t blame you.

I hope one day if ever that we’ll meet again, we could already look into each other’s eyes without any bitterness and all that. I know, you’re mad at me because I didn’t give you another chance and maybe you’re asking why… here’s the answer.

I was so mad at you that time. If you’re thinking that I was with someone else, nope. I wanted you to fight for me, but I didn’t really see that. All I saw was you, saying sorry but I didn’t see that part wherein you wanted me to stay in your life. I was so mad that I can’t cry in front of you because I needed to be strong for myself. You left me hanging. Ugh, you knew that you were all that I had but what did you do? You broke my heart and left without any valid reason. Fuck that. I admit that I’m still mad at you that’s why I’m writing this. I should’ve told you these things when I had the chance but I was afraid, I was pretending that it was just okay for me because I was the one who was left hanging.

Sorry. I know I didn’t say sorry for hurting you and not giving the chance that you were asking for. I made mistakes, I know and I regret it. Sorry for everything. I didn’t give you the chance because I knew that you’d be happier without me. Well I can see that now. :) Make your dreams come true. All the plans that you have for your family, make them happen.

Thank you, Ken.

For the 19 months that we shared. For the single life that we had. For the Kenneth and Liam tandem :) I know we’ve been through a lot and everything that we had were worth fighting for. I hope you don’t regret that once upon a time, you met a girl and you she became your everything. You’re still the best guy! I miss you. Seriously. All the crazy stuff that we used to do. Don’t worry, everything that we had will be kept. Thank you Ken. Thank you for being the guy who once meant the world to me.

All the questions that I had are still left unanswered and it’s only you who could give me the answer. I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re fine. Goodbye. This is me, moving on and taking back the half of my heart that until now, I can’t really get back because it’s still into you.

“Pano kung isang araw, nagising ako tas di na kita mahal? Bibitawan mo ba ako?”, tas sagot mo, “Hindi. Hindi kita bibitawan, itrtry ko padin na ibalik yung nawala, pero kung ayaw mo na talaga, kahit masakit, edi bibitawan nalang kita. Pero hindi ako mawawala.”

whispers from Anonymous
bat di ka na nagtutumblr? nakakamiss :(

Kasi busy na ko sa work and everything. Wala na kong social life actually. Miss you too! :-)

"Masakit, pero kinakaya."

I’m trying to be strong but I just can’t contain this anymore. I hate myself for unknown reasons. I want to be fixed but I don’t see any hope for that to happen. I want to be saved and yet no one cares for me. I’m living a miserable life. I am worthless.

2:23 am

Nakakapagod din palang lumaban kapag alam mong talo ka. Yung nilalabanan mo yung sarili mo na baka nga hindi mo talaga kaya pero yan pinipilit mo parin na kaya mo. Umiiyak ka dahil hindi mo alam kung bakit ang sakit sakit ng nararamdaman mo. Hindi mo alam kung anong problema, kung anong meron, kung bakit ka nasasaktan. Ang hirap pala. Yung wala ka nalang magawa kundi umiyak at tanggapin na hindi ka naman kasi talaga okay. Hindi ka naging okay, at hindi ka magiging okay.

You are always in my 2 am thoughts. A part of me will always be longing for your love.